Recent reviews by Withywarlock

The best satire comes from the love of the thing it is satirising, and there's no better example of this than Thank Goodness You're Here. TGYH is a rare instance of a game from people who were born and bred into their source material, and love every minute of it. Even while writing this, I'm fighting off the urge to type it in a Northern-English dialect, it has that strong an impact even since playing it two months ago.

TGYH has you travel through Barnsworth, solving the locals' problems in a multitude of ways, usually by smacking things about. Mechanically, there's nothing more to it than that: your only abilities are moving, belting things, and jumping. In terms of settings, you have a variety of languages the game can be voiced in, and there's subtitle options for 'dialect' so tha can lurn to spayk propur in God's urn carnteh.

I've often said of charming games that the world is as much a character as the people within it, but Barnsworth is - again - the textbook example. Coal Supper wear their influence in their sleeve by (hardly) filing off the serial numbers of businesses and landmarks in Barnsley, as well as referencing nearby locales ('day trips to Denby Dale' tickled me) and events. Lesser writers would make this feel like it's just one big in-joke, that only working class Yorkshiremen should have a private harrumph of approval at, and yet people outside of Yorkshire can enjoy - and probably related to - the many, many eccentric characters and places.

I can't stress enough that the cleverness and wit is the whole point of the game. It's not done in a snooty way either; you won't get stuck because you're not Yorkshire enough, and it doesn't point and laugh at Southerners. It's jovial, the timing of the jokes is perfect, and there's some references that are right under your nose and when you see them, you burst out in laughter. I won't spoil it, but look out for the tat market selling trading cards...

It doesn't take long to complete. My playthrough was just under three hours, and if I were paying more attention I'd have unlocked all the achievements in a single sitting. I will gladly play a second time. It wins my GOTY 2024 nomination hands down.

One more thing: the difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to be believable. And if you think Thank Goodness You're Here is barmy, well...

If you'd shown me gameplay of Cavern of Dreams and told me it was a Nintendo 64 game, I would've believed you. There's barely anything that gives it away as being a game released in 2023. I could still believe it was a lost relic from a bygone era, ported to Steam out of the blue nearly 30 years after abandoned development.

The only clue is how fluidly it controls. Functional controls for fully 3D platformers were doable on the N64 and its contemporaries, but few managed quite like Banjo-Kazooie, or competitors like Spyro the Dragon, the likes of which are obvious inspirations for this game. Fynn controls superbly well, however there are oftentimes where ledges require a very specific kind of distance to be leapt from, or the height is ever so slightly off. Otherwise, Fynn feels like a capable protagonist with his ability to roll around the decently-sized maps and the handful of upgrades he'll see from restoring magic to the Cavern of Dreams by rescuing his siblings.

There are two collectables, only one of which is mandatory: the dragon eggs, which can be hatched to release Fynn's siblings to be played with (or, at risk of a scolding, can even be beaten and made to feel awful); the other are encyclopedia cards which contain lore. It's quite a relief that the game doesn't overwhelm the player with lots of tat to sniff out, dragging the expected playtime beyond what it needs to be. Even so, these collectables can be challenging and require a lot of backtracking, and some may leave you stumped without a guide. Fortunately, if you collect enough of your siblings from one area, they'll give you cryptic clues when you return to the lobby.

There's little challenge from the game itself. Enemies and level hazards are far and few between, and what damage they do is only meant to launch you away to reset your progress on a slippery climb, or into a bottomless chasm. With there being no lives and little need for more than a handful of checkpoints, Fynn can travel most levels without difficulty. The greatest challenge is figuring out how to reach the eggs tucked away behind walls, or cards in plain sight but ever so slightly out of reach.

All the puzzles make sense and some are as simple as thwacking a wall that has an off-colour shade to the rest of it, revealing a hole you can travel through. Others are about rotating statues or bringing an item to a character without dropping it. Despite the abundance of tricks you've got to figure out, none of them feel spiteful or out to get you. There's no moments where you have to play mind games with the developers, and any that could be accused of that are resolved by unlocking the final ability after defeating the end boss: the ability to fly without restriction.

The levels are, I'm afraid to say, fairly generic and familiar. Most are in some way an homage to Banjo-Kazooie; the title itself is not so much a nod as a headbang to the lobby of the Bear and Bird's first adventure. But they're not so large and packed with things that you'll get sick of them, except maybe for Prismic Palace, which I found to be the most challenging of levels. As you might guess, that's an icy-crystal world. Who would've thought a place called the Coils of Agony would be the most refreshing level?

Speaking of which, there are some unsettling areas of this game. Disturbing paintings that pull Fynn toward them to drain him of his soul, a giant clown-baby homunculus, mummies starring at the moon in a lifeless wasteland, and there are on occasion fish floating beyond the walls if you manage to clip the camera behind them. It's not that bad, but it did inspire some ideas for creepypasta.

Those moments were rare, however, and the rest of the game is a beauty to behold. The level and character designs, the repeated textures stretched out along sharp blocky assets are totally in line with the 32-bit visual style it's going for. The music as well is charming, well worth the purchase of the soundtrack without question. Much as I'd like to go on about the graphics and soundtrack, there's only so many ways I can say I love every bit of it.

Cavern of Dreams is fairly short; you can easily get it done in under 10 hours, and there's little reason to come back to it barring revisiting its aesthetics. The game is fun once, and if you want to scratch the nostalgic itch of the days of yore, you may as well play the classics. However, you should still give this a go if you yearn for the return of the 90s platformer or are otherwise looking for a lesson in how to make an authentic game of that style.

I hope so very much for a sequel. The developers should be commended for what has been nothing short of a pleasure the whole way through!

EDIT: 21/12/2023
After being four cups away from clearing Insane difficulty and having my save file wiped, I cannot recommend this game. The frustration is too great, and I've evidently wasted too much time to begin going through all of that again. The guide linked below is an absolute MUST should you want to play this game without losing any data:
https://testx-steam.c5game.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2832489835

Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix is a good game when it wants to be. When you've found a winning combination of character, car parts and crew members, it's an incredibly rewarding experience that begins to stand out among its peers. But every other time, it's a passable game. For £15.99, and to see a handful of Nickelodeon characters (the "100 beloved Nick characters to choose from" line on the store page is debatable), passable is acceptable for this price point. Otherwise, you can find other, better kart racers for that much.

NKR2:GP does indeed have 100 characters to choose from, but not all are drivers. Some are part of the clever crew mechanics, which provide extra gameplay boosts in the form of defence, offence, and support. These characters have much more tangible effects on the gameplay beyond speed, acceleration and drifting, such as being providing invisibility and boosts, signature attacks, and more bonuses for interacting with the tracks such as boosting or collecting slime, further powering up your moves. Most of these crew members are secondary characters in Nick history, a nice nod to nostalgic faves and current stars. The drivers have few voice lines and banter, hampering the Nickelodeon license.

Further to this, the tracks are decent but hardly recognisable as Nickelodeon, which in its defence applies to a lot of licensed karters. Each race track features a couple shortcuts, level hazards (usually a horizontally-drifting widget reskinned to fit the level), boost pads and risk-reward routes: do you go after the slime tokens which will build up your crew chief's power bar, or do you go for the boost pad with a ramp that you can perform a stunt from? The maps cater to just about every style of play, but offer little challenge in themselves.

The power-ups, again, are only vaguely Nick-themed. Mostly toy based, the developers really had to dig deep into the lore to find something appropriate. There's little that's immediately recognisable as from a certain show; most of that comes from the crew chiefs, and even then a lot of those don't define the character.

The worst aspect of the game, and one you will discover at some stage, is the predictability and outright spitefulness of the computer opponents. Without fail, it will manage to strip away the only powerup able to defend against the Jellyfish (the off-brand blue shell); there's always one character out of the eight opponents who will have the ability to steal an item, it will always be your item (the area-of-effect explosion), and either before or after that you'll be hit with an item that slows you down. The best, or really only strategy, is to brake and wait for all of these things to hit you during your post-hit invincibility, and continue driving. It runs like clockwork, and there's always three of these Jellyfish each match. No matter the difficulty, the track, the opponents, it's the icing on the homing projectile spam cake.

It doesn't help the game doesn't stick to its own rules. In its defence, AI opponents do not rubber-band; they are more interested in you failing than they are themselves bothered about winning, hence the ratio of offensive powerups to defensive ones. Shields and invisibility do not block Jellyfish, but they sometimes throw off the targeting of homing footballs or Chief abilities. Sometimes. Other times, they will disregard the rule of ignoring shortcuts, chasing you through impossibly sharp turns and combos of ramps. They want their pound of flesh, and they shall have it.

At least there's other modes to wind down in after a particularly heated race. The 42 challenges, tucked away in the Extras menu, gives you the typical 'shoot x amount of targets' or 'win an all Loud House race' to provide an alternative challenge. Completing these also grants you new car parts and drivers, my favourite (if his art style is out of place) being Shredder at the very end. Unlocking him was the only time the frustration this game has given me was worth it.

There's two arena modes and maps, which are probably the most fun I've had with the game, but would be much better with people rather than the AI, which tends to get stuck and give up. At least it contributes to the achievement.

In terms of what there is to do after the grand prix's, challenges, time trials and arena, there's not much besides spending your hard earned slime tokens on car parts and vehicle skins, again, if only for the achievement. It's easy enough to find which parts you want and for which playstyle you prefer, so at that point you'll be spending a very, very long time getting the rest.

Multiplayer is out of the question. Its peak player count according to Steam Charts was 121 after Christmas. Such dizzying heights might yet be reached this Christmas, but only for a single day. Then again, there is a sequel to this, but given that game's player count peaked at 32 players, it's yet more proof that these games don't have the demand for online multiplayer that they're frequently told they do.

In conclusion, this is a game I can only just recommend. It is faithful enough, controls well enough, and is satisfying enough to keep playing, but these are sprinkles on top of the massive dollops of average content you get, and you can't escape the unfair play that's present throughout. Were I able to score this somewhere in the middle, I'd probably do that instead.

It's good enough, but you can do better.

Darktide is, at last, a good product. Not just a good game, but something technically competent. No longer does the Machine Spirit deem you unworthy of loading into a mission, or condemning you to the desktop because you rubbed in the sacred oils the wrong way. It still has a ways to go: for each successful incantation Fatshark perform, they usually upset the Omnissiah five more times. There is clear progress being made with the Anniversary Patch, and there are only good things to come. Maybe FS will only displease the Machine God four more times per sufficient offering to appease the computer spirit.

Put simply, Warhammer 40,000: Darktide is now consistently playable.

The core gameplay loop is nothing short of incredible: bashing and shooting Nurglitch infested and traitor guardsmen, heretics all, is always satisfying. Weapons and playable classes feel - and are - different enough to offer varying styles of play, and no aid from the Emperor is unwelcome. There's never a bad moment as such: from seeing who you'll be teamed up with before the mission starts, to lobbing a grenade into the centre of a horde the SANCTIONED Psyker has caught in chained lightning (be not afraid, the Emperor protects).

I'll take a brief moment to say that the game, like many modern games with ARPG elements, does a dire job of explaining any of its systems. Gear descriptions are unintuitive, there's a lot of mechanics that are hidden or are only in the eldritch passages of Vermintide veterancy, and one has to do no small amount of digging to find actual guidance for high end play. As I say, the core gameplay is fine, but the trimmings leave a lot to be desired.

As ever, Fatshark have nailed the Warhammer aesthetic. Pixel Hero Games' Eisenhorn: Xenos was the first game in a very long time to truly capture the awe of the 41st Millennium's architecture. All the clutter feels like it has purpose in the hyper-bureaucratic technoscapes of the hive city, and the dust and grime feels equally at place, with the servants of the Imperium all too busy to do anything about it.

What little story there is that can be interacted with, penned by the Dan Abnett, is decent enough. Like with many stories of unlikely heroes in the Imperium, it feels like you're doing something on a smaller scale, but in the grand scheme of things you are insignificant. It's a pity there's not more lore nuggets you can interact with, save for randomly selected voicelines during missions or certain cosmetics. On the other hand, what does this place matter to us so long as we redeem ourselves in the eyes of the Emperor, or our pay masters?

The music is astonishing. Jesper Kyd (Assassin's Creed II, Hitman: Blood Money, Unreal Tournament III) constantly throws out what can only be described as absolute bangers. Though the audio cues are important (especially on higher difficulties), one can - and should - indulge in music that even the Emperor's Children would pause in their whooping and hollering to admire. Kyd is a master at their craft, terrifying the listener and getting the blood pumping when he wants to. Not even big man decides the pace of the game when Jesper and his Noise Marines are on full blast.

Warhammer 40,000: Darktide is more of what you already love about Vermintide. If you don't like Vermintide, please seek spiritual guidance from your Commissar.

The only person (because people is being optimistic) I could recommend this game to is someone whose number one video game is Final Fantasy Tactics, and whose all-time favourite film is The Dark Crystal. Otherwise, I can't think of why anyone would want to play this over the myriad of turn and tile-based tactics games that have existed over these past few decades, and have long improved upon since. If there's a mistake the turn-based tactics genre has made in the past, be it a painful user interface, poor level balance, a necessity to grind that affects the flow of the story, or too many mechanics spread too thinly, The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance Tactics does it willingly, and does so even in New Game Plus.

You could instead be playing Enchanted Arms.

Despite the amount of hours I've put into the game, having all the achievements and buying the trading cards, this was not because I enjoyed the game, rather because I had to see everything to know that I would have no reason to return to it. The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance Tactics is mercifully shorter in its New Game+ mode thanks to insanely more powerful items with greater stat boosts and effects than before, and levels stop meaning just about anything despite enemies always managing to say they're more powerful. Not to mention it adds nothing new to the experience; it's only there to say if the game was too short, you can play it again.

You could instead be playing Shadowrun: Dragonfall.

The truth is the game isn't too short, rather the opposite, but it doesn't use the 20 hours I spent grinding levels to get to where I needed to be in my first playthrough at all well. The developers clearly knew enough about the Netflix show to pad out what can only be described as a "90s movie tie-in game except it's not as good as the Disney ones" (which should be a genre, only with a catchier name). Lazy is not a word I'd use to describe any game or developer, and Age of Resistance is no exception. Rather, it commits to making a bad game. Whether this is for some compensation, tax scheme, a statement on the human condition or quite simply punishment for Gamer Rage in general, I'm not entirely sure. I'll take the last one though, I don't think I deserve games better than this with how I rant, but surely the late and great Jim Henson and the success of his properties post-mortem deserve better.

You could instead be playing The Age of Decadence.

Mechanically, it's very much like all other RPGs that have stats which are incalculable and you just have to hope that bigger is better. Which, thankfully, is true of The Dark Crystal. Damage, health and magic pools are easily read and mostly understandable, but knowing if a hit will be a glancing blow or a crit, you can't say for sure. Magic and physical defence are just as nebulous concepts, as if thrown in because "that's what video games do". They're not wrong on that I suppose. However, what stops Tactics from being like other turn-based JRPGs with verticality is how everything takes more time than it should. You can't simply right click on an enemy to perform an attack. You have to click on your current character, navigate the radial wheel, select the ability, select the enemy if you're in range. If not, move. If you're still out of range, undo the move and retry. It sounds like a silly thing to get worked up over, but it's the way one interfaces with the game and it's an immediate annoyance. The only way to overcome this is to play more aggressively with better equipment, so you can end fights faster. But to do that you need to grind for Pearls to buy said equipment, and to grind you have to get into combat.

You could instead be playing Fallout.

But as far as The Dark Crystal influences go, there's not that many. Tilesets are overused, with landmarks and other points of interest barely having any presence in the deadened woods, murky swamps and a sandy level. There's also painfully little to no voice acting, with some squarks from the Skeksis characters and not much else, not even for the few "cutscenes" which are comic book panels fading in and out, not even daring to bother footage from the show it's based on. There's appearances from the antagonists and plenty of named characters but beyond that, not a whole lot else that makes you feel like you're playing the show itself, and hardly a loose adaptation at that.

You could instead be playing Divinity: Original Sin.

Movie tie-in games have come too far for this to get my praise. In a world where we had the Battle for Middle-Earth games, Arkham Asylum, Mad Max, Alien: Isolation, The Godfather 1 & 2 and most recently Spiderman, this feels over 20 years out of place. If you want a tactical JRPG there's no shortage of them on Steam with far greater replayability, skill requirements and are memorable in every other way.

You could instead be playing literally anything else.

I wish I could say this game was "Pay 2 Win" because at least then giving money to this Vikings: War of Clans (V:WoC) knockoff was somewhat justified. Except paying for shields, experience boosts, resources and troop packs is more "Pay 2 Keep Up", partly because the most powerful clans of a server are nonchalantly throwing money at the game and laughing their way to the top. This is nothing new - the same happens in V:WoC, wherein lowering your guard for a moment can lead to an imminent assault that will wipe out your forces, paid or otherwise. You're not skipping the grind, you're delaying the inevitable crushing defeat that comes with not developing whatsoever on a mobile game that's been around for donkey's years.

Warhammer: Chaos And Conquest is little more than a paintjob. Where Deathwatch: Tyranid Invasion, WarhammerQuest and Carnage Champions had somewhat advanced hopes for the license on mobile platforms, C&C's only offering is familiar faces to take command and defeat, and a much higher graphical fidelity than Vikings.

The reason why I've clocked 67 hours in this game is because one has to clock that many hours. Chaos & Conquest doesn't give you much time for breaks with all its timers being close to completion, quests being renewed, incoming enemies and outgoing expeditions returning. I will give the game that much - it at least gives you something to look at every time you login. You've always something to tap on. The problem is this is incredibly habit forming, and before you're in a top 15% clan you're still expected to put in at least 6 hours a day to make progress. Progress you will ultimately lose upon someone taking a liking to your resources. The sooner you realise this and play for whatever little fun there is in playing for the sake of it rather than any goals, the sooner you'll stop being scared of logging out because something else is ready to be tapped.

You can forget any meaningful goals if you're not in a high end clan, as the idea of capturing the cities and bringing an end to the Old World is immediately lost. The same with raiding any other clan, because everyone wants to team up or merge with another to take on the big leagues (which never worked because their shields remained up or their forces were well coordinated). Your enjoyment of the game slowly devolves into joining a clan, not being allowed to do anything or face a kick (and be constantly raided), and farming mediocre PvE enemies out in the world for meagre rewards. The strongest clans are often so well regimented that they lose freedom to do their own thing, which is good if you play only to win. Winning is surprisingly the least interesting part about the game, especially when more often than not nobody else can rise to competition with the strongest clan.

Warhammer: Chaos & Conquest isn't good. It's highly addictive, but its addiction leads to a drained wallet, a poor mental state and absolutely zero satisfaction in progress. If ever there was a game that personified the phrase "race to the bottom", none would better suit it than this.

Bleeding Edge comes dangerously close to not being recommended, mostly on its price tag. The mechanics are solid, the setting and characters a wonder to behold, the art style and music astonishing.... but it costs £24.99. That's a lot to pay for a game wherein the players you're teamed up with can make or break your experience, where victories can be few and far between, and defeats are miserable. Whatever good is masked and what ill is exemplified by the matchmaking, and there's quite a few things missing for this to ask for the money it does.

Ninja Theory's brawler pits four players against another four, each choosing characters within the Damage, Support and Tank roles. It doesn't take long to figure out character's strengths and weaknesses, or their counters and who they're best suited against. Characters are easy to learn and take only time to master, the hardest part being putting up with a character you're unfamiliar with when someone else has taken your main.

There's five maps each with muted gimmicks such as bottomless falls, fiery pits, electrified walls and conveyer belts, capitalising on its funky visual style and hectic audio. Within these maps players will partake in two game modes, both of which are too similar for there to be much replayability if you're not instantly hooked on your first win of the day. Capture Objectives and Power Cells are the essentially the same - capture the marked location and hold it while brawling, and in the latter do the same except handing in vital Power Cells to earn points. It's not the most exciting stuff, but it gets the job done.

"Getting the job done" is really the best Bleeding Edge can claim to do. Before the likes of Brink, Overwatch and Paladins: Champions of the Realm, Bleeding Edge could well have fit in an industry bloated with grey and brown military shooters. But it seems too late to be a pioneer in any multiplayer subgenre, and too early after the hero shooter/brawler fad.

I only recommend this because Xbox Game Pass allows you to experience it for £3.99/month to begin with (£1 for new subscribers' first month). The game suits Free-to-Play with its style and desperate need to grab new players' attention, but doesn't have enough to sell for real world cash. It's between a rock and a hard place, but it's fun enough while it exists. How long that will be remains to be seen.

Update 13/01/2023: After four years consisting of a single update, the game is no longer available for purchase. The Karters 2: Turbo-Charged is expected to enter beta in March. Let's see how it holds up.

Update 05/01/2023: The misleading screenshots have been removed, and the game is being remade in The Karters 2: Turbo-Charged. On the one hand I'm optimistic about this given the gameplay trailers and frequent updates, and on the other hand, the current state of this version of the game remains fresh in my mind. As far as I can tell this version of the game will not receive any updates despite remaining in Early Access and charging £15.49.

Update 12/08/2022: The screenshots on the storepage do NOT represent the game as it is now. While it does say "upcoming," it bears mentioning that the game you can purchase looks nothing like those screenshots now. This is the first I'm seeing of this after over four years of little forum communication and flip-flopping on development progress. This wouldn't be a problem if the game wasn't charging £15, and showing nothing of what the game currently represents.

**Contrary to the "Early Access Review" tag, this review was written on the day of its "proper" release before it went BACK into Early Access. It has likely been tagged as that because I have made some edits such as this one. I will continue to update it as the game's development goes on.**

Never have I had to write a review about a more painfully disappointing game. The Karters, on paper and in beta, is a solid idea - it takes inspiration from one of the karting kings, and puts it on Steam. What should have been a simple translation from the Playstation One to 2018 has been disastrous, despite my strong faith in the Closed Beta phases. However, its storied development history is the cause of much cynicism; the game has been delayed numerous times, opting out of the Early Access programme to instead deliver two limited Closed Betas. When it eventually dribbled onto Steam to its jaded yet excited playerbase, the game has been dogpiled for its evident bugs, some being in the game as early as the first Closed Beta.

Upon starting the game, you're greeted with the same UI as in the beta, only without a working Options menu. Should you get into it, adjusting the controls is inconsistently functional. Sometimes mapping controls works, and sometimes they reset the moment you leave the menu.

The Adventure Mode allows you to play as any character within the game, with an "upgrade" at certain milestones in the campaign. One good thing I can say about this is that the Adventure Mode progress is not shared amongst characters, increasing what little replay value you might find. It's also an attempt to stay loyal to Crash Team Racing's influence, which in all aspects it does very well. But it is a video game in its own right, and with that come certain other expectations.

From what little I've seen of the powerups (that have been removed in order to be fixed), there's approximately eight but I only have two; Boosters, which are self explanatory, and the Toxic Jar akin to CTR's test tube voodoo placed powerup. I've not seen the effects of the jar because the AI doesn't drive into it. It's quite clever, and tricky, but often will it bug out by simply driving into walls and being unable to reverse out of them, or find itself stuck in a surface. [The AI & Trophy mode have been removed in order to be fixed]
Two other modes exist within the Adventure mode besides standard races; time attack and letter mode, the latter once again being similar to CTR's CTR mode. No, that's not a typo. Again, very well done in terms of its loyalty to Crash, but as a video game on its own merits it has its flaws with hit detection when touching crates for items and letters.

The controls are just as smooth as they once were, though without boosting the karts are incredibly slow. Given how they are go-karts, that's to be expected, and it encourages what Crash Team Racing once did - there's just no way you're going to win if you're a powerslide pariah. Besides the animations, there's no impact felt from falling or making a jump, which could be greatly improved with the simple enabling of vibration or a slider for it. The Steam controller would be ideal if such a thing is to be implemented.

Alas, many more things need to be implemented and I'm not sure if they ever will be. Tracks for one thing - while they are OK, they rely on competitive players with powerups galore to keep them exciting. The Karters and Meow Motors could do with swapping out their powerup frequency, then you'd have a pretty wild ride in both games.

Visually, the game looks OK if I'm being generous with the excuse of "it's an indie game", ignoring the myriad of wonderful, beautiful kart racers that exist (All-Star Fruit Racing, Bears can't Drift?!, Toybox Turbos, I could go on....), but it hardly stands out amongst the others. Truly, its biggest selling point and the best thing it does is the CTR stuff, but brought down by the rocky foundations it's built upon. The sound design is the only unique thing I can comment on positively, as the soundtrack is upbeat and joyous, the karts grumbling and roaring is beautiful and other miscellaneous sound effects are pretty nice all 'round.

I cannot recommend this game, not even to die-hard Crash Team Racing fans. It's not that it's a bad kart racer; like Garfield Kart it's one of the best on Steam, but like GK it's a bad product. There's bugs galore from pause menus not working to progress being wrongly calculated, from being unable to find matches to being unable to find resolution settings. I can't fault the devs if they give up on this given the feedback, but if they want to soldier on, it's going to be an up-hill battle all the way. Then again, their company logo seems to suggest they're prepared. I certainly hope so.


Perhaps it would've been better if Nitrous Oxide turned the whole planet into a concrete parking lot after all.

Need a second opinion from me? Check out the ("FINAL" RELEASE) video below!
https://youtu.be/6AFCKGq3Koo

TL;DR and EARLY ACCESS First Impressions video located at the bottom!

--Review based on Early Access, will be updated where necessary--

Quite possibly one of the greatest kart racers you'll find on here, but its lack of online multiplayer may be offputting. There's a strong emphasis on Meow Motors' singleplayer "career mode", where players unlock cars, characters and.... powerups. Even your items require time and energy to unlock for use in Quick Race mode, the same applying to aforementioned unlocks. The different cars are purely cosmetic, but characters have different abilities to make your life easier (Lily can make oil cost less energy to use, allowing her to give her enemies the slip more frequently; one character isn't slowed by the off-track terrain, etc.). At least all cats and carts control in the same way; each one has the nitro ability for a boost of speed, oil to cause foes to lose control and fire (which I've not yet learnt the secrets of; apparently I'm a caveman).

The controls are floaty, but not offensively so. There's little friction on the tarmack and other terrain, so you feel more like you're gliding than putting the pedal to the metal, though the game allows you to zip across the tracks in no time at all. The game's drifting is comparable to Table Top Racing: World Tour's or Toybox Turbo's, in that you'll slide and have little control over your movements, only now you press a button and you spin wildly into walls and other hazards. That's where most of the game's difficulty comes from, rather than the three difficulty settings that share your progress (unlike Sonic and Sega All-Stars Racing's career mode).

Powerups are plenty, provided you're playing the championship mode as that's the only way you'll get them. Most of them consist of projectiles such as a homing shark missle that stops players from using weapons, a machine gun that has unpredictable range and damage, an ice beam that freezes foes and good ol' Area-of-Effect EMP charges. It's a staple of the modern kart racer; it used to be sinister circular objects, hallmarks of Crash Team Racing and Mario Kart, but now eminates from the kart in a flash of light and pain. How far we've come.

The powerups highlight one of the game's biggest problems; it's not the thing itself that's the issue, but rather how it's implemented. Meow Motors has idea for drifting.... but doesn't give you the means to exit the drift or boost at the end. It does powerups brilliantly.... but the amount of spam that floods the screen kills a lot of the joy if you're lagging behind. There's constant stops and starts, resulting only in bursts of fun rather than a constant rush of adrenaline and awe.

The tracks are well designed, wide enough to support 7 or 8 players abreast.... or arim (atyre? Ahubcap?), with not only lots of turns and twists but plenty of shortcuts hidden in plain sight. There's a great need for map knowledge but you unlock so many so quickly that it's hard to remember and let muscle memory take over and guide you to the nearest shortcut. Again, I have to bring up the floatiness of the controls - the karts glide so slowly rather than turn sharply that you'll miss a lot of opportunities unless you know well in advance what's coming up and prepare for it ~10 seconds earlier. The maps aren't super imaginative, with little in the way of jumps, teleportation of helter-skelter design, but they have enough hazards and turns to keep players occupied and constantly on the lookout for opponents crawling up behind.

There's not a lot one can say say about Meow Motors; it's a typical casual racing game with the typical progression system - three stars, championship unlocks, powerups, a smooth release of cars, cats and their claws. Originally £15.49, it was good but not great, but for its new price of £11.39 it comes even more highly recommended. You'll still find the same quality for approximately the same price, but if you love kart racers too much and therapy's too expensive, this'll sate your appetite until the next one comes out.

Need some footage? See over 30 minutes of gameplay with commentary here!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyAhCGuSMhw

Review updated as of 05/07/2019

Renzo Racer is another pothole in my search for a great kart racer, and I'm not sure Early Access is going to fix it. Praise where praise is due, RR comes with 16 characters (without special abilities) and 20 maps out of the garage, and depending on the track you can play either in a car or watercraft, and destroy certain object as advertised. But "fast and furious racing action" is where the "obstacles and surprises" collide.

Despite being a grubby machine, Renzo could have most of its problems buffed out; its characters are charming, but their full potential is brought down by an amateurishly animated opening cutscene, and there's just some vehicles that are objectively worse looking than others (EDIT: The developers have made an effort to improve vehicles in places, increasing character appeal). Take for example the titular Renzo - he drives in an security buggy, whereas Walter Wolf drives in a beastly machine. No matter his stats, I'll always go for style over substance, what little there is. Because the stats like speed, acceleration and weight mean nothing. It's become quite a trend for games to not explain what these mean, and Renzo Racer is no exception.

The worst thing about the game was how it controls, now no longer much of an issue. Turning is still slightly stiffer than I'd like and because of this it makes sense the roads don't have many sharp turns, but this isn't a good thing. Not when powersliding and drifting have been a staple of kart racers for decades, something that is woefully lacking here. What's even stranger is that when you hit a surface (and you will because the brakes are shoddy too), you miraculously find yourself facing the direction you came from. Always. It defies physics to make you drive around in a circle or reverse painfully to get back on track. If you leap off a ramp, you might find the car's sensitivity shooting through the roof, swaying from side to side uncontrollably. There doesn't seem to be any middle ground.

RR now features three powerups; a speed boost which is too fast and causes the physics engine to soil itself and rockets which only work when locking onto people. Despite the lack of originality or quantity, this is surprisingly a pleasant offering. No more sifting through 17 or so powerups for the 3 good ones like in a Sonic racer, and it's not as though the game requires the tactical, competitive genius of Mario Kart 7, again overwhelming the player. It's the one thing Renzo Racer has in moderation. Thank God.

I had previously said "I'm not sure Early Access is going to fix it" because Renzo Racer seems to be designed around its hideous controls, but despite my firm belief in this the developer has gone through Hell and high bridges to improve the game. I'd thought that if the tracks remained as wide and one dimensional as they were, powersliding will have as much thrill as throwing a hotdog down the M1. For six minutes. With the greater top speed and controls, I could see a place for powersliding to better help the player navigate the maps. And thanks to the well needed boost, maps aren't as long and tedious.

Renzo Racer is a cutesy if bog standard karter, brought down by some uninspired tracks and janky controls. Still, it does a lot well with its character roster and level hazards. For the low low price of £3.99, you can't go wrong.... but you can easily do better for a few quid more.