endlessly tired


I can yap about myself right? why else would you be on my profile. im curious actually. but anyway...

im an anxiety, fear and worries fueled person, I think. sometimes dumb, and additionally stern when pushed. mainly into l4d2. that has absolutely no idea about most things. unfortunately, from russia.


i feel like me being russian might make you automatically imagine me being lobotomized, but I try to stray away from being how some online russians can be.

y'know loud, snarky and always complaining. not all of russians online are like that though... but some majority probably is. and there's indeed only a small bunch of mindful and reasonable russian people, probably

i can try talking and understanding, if something upsets whoever... im not against being reasonable when able, but sometimes i can be a wrathful dumbo, if I'm not tired enough

lightly said
it is kind of hard to go through days though

on another note

l4d2's playerbase scares me, and the amount of asylum patients I've met playing, that somehow got access to the internet baffles me. I'm sometimes doubting if I'm not one of them

I like the workshop and some mod creators though, so not everything's meh


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣠⣤⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣠⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⣄⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⡄⠀ ⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡏⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣀⣠⣥⡀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⡍⢿⣿⢻⣯⣧⡙⢿⣿⣿⣿⣇⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⡼⣿⡿⠛⠃⠀⠀ ⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠙⣿⣿⣿⠸⡇⡜⣿⣏⣟⡈⣩⣤⡩⢦⣿⣿⡌⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⣿⣶⣶⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⢹⡇⣿⠀⢃⢷⡜⡿⡜⣧⣻⣿⣿⣦⡑⢝⠇⢹⣿⣿⣿⣷⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⠀⠀⠸⠟⠛⠘⠇⣵⢰⢸⢸⣷⣄⠑⠹⡼⠯⠁⠒⣊⡀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⣾⠀⢿⢹⣸⡇⢷⢿⣿⣦⣳⣴⣾⣧⢹⣿⡧⣼⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⢿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀
⠀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⡏⠂⠸⡸⠃⠀⣠⡜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⢂⣵⣾⣮⡂⣿⣿⣿⣿⠘⣿⡏⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣯⠀⠠⡀⣴⡞⠿⠇⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡃⣿⣿⣿⣿⢐⢹⣷⢹⣿⣿⠀⠀
⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢻⠀⡀⢻⣯⣿⣶⣶⣿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⡆⣿⣿⣺⣿⠀⡇⣿⡆⣿⣿⡆⠀
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠀⢀⡈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣏⡇⣿⣿⣺⣿⡂⢹⡘⣷⢹⣿⣷⠀
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸⠘⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⣿⣿⣿⣼⠇⣿⣿⡯⣿⠂⠀⣧⢻⡇⢿⣿⠀
⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢸⢤⡈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⡿⠇⣥⡆⣿⣿⡇⣿⠀⠀⠸⣆⣿⡸⣿⡆⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⡟⣷⢮⣙⠛⠻⠿⠿⠟⢋⣼⣿⣿⣷⣿⣿⣇⣿⡇⡠⡃⠻⢿⣧⣿⣧⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡟⣿⣷⣿⠨⠈⡠⡢⡂⠀⠀⢾⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠈⠂⡢⡂⣿⣻⣿⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡇⣿⣟⠟⠁⠊⠐⡨⢈⡄⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡧⣿⣿⣿⣿⠠⡠⡊⠊⡠⡨⡛⣿⡇⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡟⢀⠅⢕⠀⡂⠸⣿⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣟⣿⢀⠅⠁⡪⡊⠈⡠⡨⡁⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⠑⢅⠑⢄⠀⠀⠈⠹⣿⣿⡻⠋⠁⣿⣿⣟⣿⢐⢄⠔⢑⡠⠪⡪⠪⡪⡢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⡇⢆⠑⢅⠑⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡠⡂⣿⣿⡇⣿⠐⠅⢔⠄⢂⠐⠨⡪⡪⡢⡪⡢⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡊⣿⣿⡇⢐⢁⢀⠁⠑⢅⠀⠀⠀⡪⡪⡊⠂⣿⣿⡇⡿⢐⢁⢕⢕⢔⢂⢊⠌⡪⡪⡪⡊⡠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⡨⡂⣿⣿⡇⠂⡖⡕⠕⠐⢄⠑⢀⠈⢈⠀⡢⡂⣿⣿⡇⡇⡒⣕⠕⠁⢔⢕⢕⢪⠪⠀⡪⡪⡪⡢⡠⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢐⠘⡀⣿⣿⡇⠀⡢⡂⠕⠕⢄⠑⠔⠐⢩⢨⠚⡀⣿⢹⡇⡇⡢⣢⢗⠅⢕⢕⢔⢕⠭⠨⡊⡘⡪⡪⡪⠠⡀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢕⢂⠂⡟⣿⠃⡨⡂⡠⡪⠪⢕⢕⢕⢁⢕⠕⢅⠂⣿⠸⣯⡯⡪⡐⡨⠀⠐⢕⢕⢀⢕⠕⠅⡪⡊⡊⡪⡪⡪⡐⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⢔⢕⠅⠅⡇⣿⠀⡪⡪⡪⡂⡥⡨⠒⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕⣿⠈⣿⡧⡪⡪⡂⡄⡀⠀⢔⠐⢕⢅⢕⢕⢀⣪⡪⠊⡪⡪⡂⡀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢓⢕⠕⠅⢀⣇⢻⠨⠪⡨⡪⡪⡪⠠⠁⢂⢒⢕⢕⢕⠔⣿⠐⣿⠯⠪⡠⡪⡪⡢⠄⠁⠀⠀⢕⢕⢕⠄⠄⠀⠀⠊⠪⠠⡢⡪⠢⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡐⢈⢕⢕⠀⣿⠘⡇⠅⡪⡪⡊⡪⡪⠨⡐⡐⢁⢑⢕⠅⣿⢀⢽⠀⠪⡪⡊⡪⡪⡪⠀⠀⠀⠀⢑⢀⢕⠁⢁⠄⠀⠁⠉⠢⡈⡈⠨⡪⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⡊⡒⡕⠍⢔⢸⣀⠁⢜⠕⠁⣪⡪⡪⡢⠨⡊⡒⡕⢅⢔⢹⢐⢈⢈⢌⠠⡪⡪⡪⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⠁⠀⢀⢀⢄⢀⢀⠤⡀⡊⠢⡢⡨⡀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠠⠪⡪⠪⠕⠅⢄⠑⠀⢕⢍⢌⠐⡨⡪⠪⡀⠠⡪⣊⠓⠕⠜⢐⢕⢕⢍⢌⠔⡰⡪⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠕⠅⠁⠐⠕⠍⠬⠪⡠⡢⡨⠪⡢⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡨⡪⡊⡪⡪⡪⠨⠑⢀⢁⢐⢕⢕⢆⢂⡂⡨⡪⡂⠪⡢⡪⠨⠁⢐⢑⢔⢕⠕⢅⢊⡂ ⠀⡀⠀⢀⠔⢅⢑⢔⠁⠅⢎⠊⡊⡪⡪⡀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠈⠡⠪⡪⡪⡢⡫⠂⠐⡕⡔⢕⢕⢕⢕⢚⢊⠠⡩⡂⠪⡢⡢⡪⠊⢔⢕⢕⢕⢕⢕ ⣀⣂⡂⡂⡠⠂⠀⠔⠐⠁⢀⠀⢕⢁⢪⠪⡪
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠐⢕⢔⢬⠤⡀⡀⡈⠨⠀⠀⣂⢒⠕⠕⢅⢔⢕⠕⠨⠬⠨⣠⣨⣊⡢⠡⡃⢂⢕⠕⠅⢔⣨⣷⣿⣿⣿⣿⣦⠪⠂⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢌⠔⠐⠈
⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠐⢄⢁⠑⠁⠎⠊⡢⠊⠀⠀⡢⡰⢈⢐⠕⢕⢕⢕⠅⢁⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⣤⣤⣴⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⡀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠐⠀⠁⠁
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


「she doesn't know why she lives」 is the manga's name or

「なんでいきてるかわからない人和泉澄25歳」which translates to '25 year old izumi sumi doesn't know why she lives', I think.

the character is izumi sumi (duh).


and I cropped one of the manga's panels, pasting that into dot art machine thingy (this isn't stealing, right?... i'm not sure...) I didn't make it myself.

I like the manga, and the main character... and the art... stating the obvious I know. it, the manga, makes more sense than life sometimes does. maybe my pfp or taste might change at one point, I wouldn't want that though. what else...

milk outside a bag of milk outside a bag of milk is a comforting game (in some sense), along with it's music. reminds me. musictron3000 is a nickname that came out of nowhere, and i just stick with it for some reason. i think i wanted to play music in games through a microphone before.

no more thoughts for now, hope the one reading is having a less miserable day than usual, and can comfortably sleep, goodnight when you do