i come from a low-frequency environment, and i've only used cash my entire life. The only time I ever held a card was when I borrowed my cousin's Bank of America debit card to slice open a funnel cake at the county fair when I took my daughter there on a trip amidst a lengthy child custody battle with my ex wife. Attempting to prove to the judge that I am a responsible father, but we all know i'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ not. I got the kid's ears pierced at 2 years old and she already knows what Red Bull tastes like. I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥. Judge if you're seeing this please let me have Mackenzie back. I even wore my nice 8-ball jean jacket to the last court hearing, I'm ready to change.

I live in a low income barony. Me and my yeoman derive all of our income from the export of unlicensed potions and tonics. I have plenty of concubines in my harem, and if you don't believe me, you are welcome to come to my address (it is the Dark Castle at the peak of Tortured Demon's Peak, take the first left from the Oakvale forest). But be warned, I own many cursed swords and am extremely deranged.
If you stand against me, you stand against my legion of skeletons, ghouls, goblins and monstrous critters, and all of us are complete knaves and villainous rascals. Even as we speak, my monkey-men are conducting shenanigens in your demense. Let your gaze not meet mine lest you be slain in a ride-by, bisected in twain by halberds as I come galloping through town.