Recent reviews by stinky promise

Amazing game concept, extremely well made and lovingly crafted, best experienced going in blind.

That said, the beginning of Act 2 is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid and unfun, especially coming off the masterpiece that is Act 1. I get the idea and it's still extremely charming but the gameplay loop in Act 2 makes me want to quit (having beaten the game before on a different platform I know this is not true of Act 3).

So perplexing that Act 2 was made SO laborious with the card game becoming much worse... still an easy recommend though, especially because of Kaycee's mod.

Absolute flames, really fun and approachable level of difficulty if you lock in and try not to frustrate yourself

Act 3 is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ terrifying

100/100

So far, this is the best early access game I've ever played. Playing solo is a ton of fun, playing with a bunch of friends is even more fun. There is a crazy amount of content for an early access game.

Some players have complained about optimization, but I'm sure optimization will be improved soon. This game is amazing and you will not regret buying it.

Probably the best 5$ game I've ever played and it's free on mobile.

This is probably one of my favorite games of all time.

PC port has decentish controls, pretty customizeable though. The dumbest thing I've seen so far is that the mouse cursor doesn't go away, and you have to move it to one of the corners to hide it.

Gameplay? Great.
My computer? Powerful.
Together? Ass-eating piece of 60 dollar ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ waste of HDD space.

This game has, for all 90 hours I've played, been difficult and stuttering on the ABSOLUTE LOWEST settings with an FX 8350, GTX 770 and 8 gigs of ram.
Absolutely 100% unplayable, many missions and even expensive purchases have been ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up because of the stuttering that can sometimes occur every 3 seconds and ♥♥♥♥ up everything you try to do.

This game will also, on quit, ♥♥♥♥ your computer up so bad you won't know what to do. Background processes and other ♥♥♥♥ lagging me out, as well as the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Rockstar has pulled lately, have made me decide to put this borderline-unfinished game down and mourn the 60 dollars I could've spent on a hooker.

Low trust factor matching has absolutely ♥♥♥♥♥♥ this game beyond repair or recognition. It's a lazy solution that Valve concocted to ignore their ♥♥♥♥♥♥ anti-cheat being one of the most ineffective pieces of software ever coded.

Nowadays if you don't play for a while, if you need to abandon a match, or if people decide to report you en masse, your trust factor will plummet and there is nothing - NOTHING - that can be done about it.

This game, as a result of the often blatant cheating going on in low trust factor, has become a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dumpster of a game and I'd recommend avoiding playing it even if you have already bought it.

As far as buying it now, forget about it. Use that $15 on a haircut or something, but please don't use it on this game. Putting any kind of money in Valve's hands when this game exists... I don't think I could think of a more egregious use of currency if I spent the rest of my life trying to come up with one.

Let me start off by saying this: the game isn't bad.

This game is certainly a lot of fun. If you're just searching for a game in which to screw around with friends, this is a game you won't regret giving a try. I personally have had some good times with this game, especially in a rather small amount of time.

However, if one is to don the identity of a critic, there's a lot of interesting points to bring up, both good and bad.

As if we're in a cheesy 1970's action movie, we'll start off with the bad, and then work our way to the good.

THE BAD:

1.
This game has some of the weirdest (and no, I don't mean wacky/enjoyable) physics I have had the ultimate displeasure to lay my precious eyes on. Seriously.
In the FIRST game I joined (with, admittedly, a precariously built little WALL-E that obviously couldn't tell which of its sides was which) , I found myself flipped in the first thirty seconds. Helplessly, I tried comming in the chat for one of the other new WALL-E clones to try and flip me over. Thankfully, they obliged to give it their all, which in the end meant nothing because robot collisions are barely even a thing in this game. You can ram into a tiny little 3-block retardcycle at full speed, attempting to move him a centimeter, and he won't budge at all. However, as he does not budge, you go flying at the speed of a middle-aged mother attempting to buy the next installment of mommy porn.
And of course, you flip over at the smaleST GODADCNM THIBGN FCKUK EVRFY ♥♥♥♥♥♥ TMEIE I DRIVE ROTBOT IT FLIP VOER YWUFVU VDD WEFIDFH.

Second on the list of the bad:

Balance is nonexistent. If you disagree, I challenge you to go find a railgun-user who doesn't at least admit that the railgun is incredibly overpowered. Plasma cannons are pretty close after the railguns as well, completely outclassing SMGs in the first 4-5 tiers of the game, especially after a certain update that shall go unnamed until later on.
Recently, the developers have made efforts to change this incredible gap in the risk-reward/skill-payoff differences between the weapons. It still hasn't been enough, it seems. I've taken a pretty big break from the game now, and I don't expect to be picking it up much sooner if the balance in SMGS/Rails/Plasmas doesn't drastically, and I mean ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ DRASTICALLY change.

"oh but afx ur just urmad cuz ur gt rekt (xd) by ppl whu r butter than uuu!!!11"

Un-equip the railguns/plasma cannons, give yourself the equivalent of a new player's robot, and then survive more than 2 rails in a tier one game.

Third on the list:

Omfg. July 31st/August 1st, 2014. The days that made me want to kill people IRL. Before this update, railguns, plasma cannons, all the tools needed to customize an early robot, EVERYTHING was available to the new player after a couple matches and a few clicks in the Tech Tree. While weapons were certainly overpowered, EVERYBODY could be overpowered with each other. However, the developers decided to cut that circlejerk in half. They removed the ability to acquire railguns, plasma cannons, aerofoils, and thrusters (as well as other things, I believe) before Tier 4~ish. This basically just ♥♥♥♥♥♥ new players. It ♥♥♥♥♥♥ 'em. Straight up gave them the hard Ron Jeremy, right in the ass. Anybody who played after/on August 1st could not unlock the same things other players had unlocked before. Anyone who had had the luck to install the game and get involved in it early on became a god. It was like WALL-E vs. Mega-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-tron for days on end, as the new players, including myself, struggled to put a dent in the mechanical messiahs that were the more experienced players.
When I had seen the capability to build a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ airplane robot thingie, I was so excited. Sure, it could offer quite a challenge to make a design work as I intended it to, but I was hella ready to get on that ♥♥♥♥. Now, after the update, I couldn't do that. No Starscream for me. Just normal old R2D2 with a water pistol against Mecha-Hitler with sniper rifle bazookas.

Fourth, and more of a nit-pick:

Finding a game can be buggy. Dunno. Kinda dumb.

THE GOOD:

The possibilities are kind of amazing. When I played with a friend, the very first thing I saw him in was a stick-figure on a platform with wheels. After seeing a bunch of power-ranger wannabe robots, this was pretty refreshing, ridiculous, and hilarious. Even disregarding the not-so-practical possibilities a robot design can have, there's a ton of room for creativity and imagination. If the interface for building were more streamlined, I daresay building the robots could take more of my time in the game than shooting other robots. This is one of the best things the game has working for it. The amount of things one needs to take into consideration while building a robot that can take and give damage is astounding. There's no real metagame of robot, no OMG MEGAZORD ROHBOT that you're expected to build to get the highest score or whatever. Your robot is only as good as you allow it to be.

Secondly, the gameplay itself:

Understandably clunky at times, the gameplay is still pretty charming. Getting kills is satisfying, the combat is easy to understand, and it can be skill-based depending on how you approach each situation. You never know what you're facing, and no two matches will have the same outcome. Not too much to say about it other than that it's pretty good.

Third, the potential:

This game has such a huge potential for growth. The developers, while not making the best choices at all times, show that they care for the game in the multitude of changes they continue to throw at the community. If the developers don't act on the potential in games (I'm looking at you, Stomping Land), there's only so far it can go. Thankfully, this game has shown that it can adapt, in good ways and bad, with the community around it. With the other things working in its favor, this game can certainly grow far beyond its beginnings and overcome the negatives that are sure to come with a rather new game.

tl:dr : bad physics, bad weapon balance, dumb dumb dumb ♥♥♥♥♥♥ updates, good gameplay, great possibilities, and fantastic potential.

For new players' sake, I won't recommend it now. But after this game has been turned around and flipped upside-down, changed to be the best it can be, I sure will be recommending it.