A few hundred hours. Maybe more. Time doesn't exist here. I built a bathtub that screams. My best friend is an error sign. I trapped a hundred Kleiner clones in a box and now they whisper to me when I sleep. I fear the G-Man. He watches.

Every server is a new dimension. One moment I'm building a peaceful park, the next I'm flying through the sky in a couch powered by explosions while someone blasts airhorns and a purple Sonic chases me screaming. I think I saw God once. He was a T-posing Barney with admin powers.

There are no rules. There is only physics. And Lua. And pain.

I tried to uninstall once. The game reinstalled itself. I don’t remember doing it.

My therapist says I’m getting better. I told him to press E to open the door.