Welcome to the Podcast

Jake™: Scoops. I have a confession.
Scoop: Is almost 2AM
Scoop: I went to slep
Jake™: I'm a time traveler from the future.
Jake™: Ask me anything.
Scoop: Will I hev a bebo?
Jake™: You get 3 questions, by the way.
Scoop: O
Scoop: Wait
Scoop: WAIT
Scoop: DON'T ANWQWREAWRT THAT ONE
Scoop: ♥♥♥♥♥
Jake™: Okay.
Scoop: Will Tom ♥♥♥ "Out of the closet"?
Jake™: Tom from this friends list, Tom?
Scoop: ?
Jake™: Which Tom, is what I'm asking.
Jake™: Tom Cruise?
Scoop: No
Scoop: Tom our friend.
Jake™: Oh, okay. Let me check the records.
Jake™: Tom has admitted in an interview with Shoji magazine that he has ejaculated into a bag and put it in his closet for it to ferment when he was 17.
Jake™: Next question. 2 remain.
Scoop: No, I asked if Tom was Gey u ♥♥♥♥♥
Jake™: A homosexual?
Scoop: Yes.
Scoop: Will Tom "♥♥♥ out of the closet"?
Scoop: ^
Jake™: While Tom has admitted in an interview with Shoji magazine that he has had homosexual experiences in college, he decided that he preferred the company of women to men. He credits his success to his long term female dominatrix.
Scoop: What happens to me in the future?
Jake™: You die.
Scoop: No, really.
Scoop: What happens to me?
Jake™: One moment.
Jake™: I'll just give you the cliff's notes so as to not damage the timeline too much.
Scoop: Alright.
Jake™: You get married.
Scoop: o
Jake™: You're happy for a few years.
Jake™: One night while drinking you have an argument with your wife.
Jake™: She alleges you struck her and files a restraining order.
Jake™: She goes to live with her mother for a couple months.
Jake™: Finds someone new who treats her even worse.
Jake™: "I'm happy, that ♥♥♥♥♥ got what she deserves."
Jake™: 2 weeks after that post, you overdose on pain medication you had been prescribed for a back injury you suffered on the job.
Jake™: You survive.
Scoop: That it?
Jake™: blah blah blah
Jake™: Years go by.
Jake™: Something about rehab.
Jake™: Finding God.
Jake™: Death in the summer.
Jake™: It's pretty boring and depressing.
Jake™: Last question.
Scoop: Finding God?!?
Scoop: Wait, is there anything else you can tell me about my Future Wife *Wink* *Wink*
Jake™: Is that your last question?
Scoop: No.
Jake™: In this picture she's old. Gray hair. Wearing spectacles.
Jake™: It's from the book she wrote. Sorry, I don't have anything from when she was younger.
Scoop: Oh....
Scoop: Okay.
Scoop: Erm.
Scoop: I don't know.
Scoop: Do I have to ask you now?
Jake™: I will be leaving yesterday, so it's your third chance.
Scoop: Wha-?
Jake™: Oh, sorry.
Scoop: What?
Jake™: Time travel.
Jake™: I won't have access to this account any further in your timeline.
Jake™: But I will before now in your timeline.
Jake™: Time travel is hard to explain to someone who hasn't taken Advanced Quantum Displacement...
Scoop: Erm....
Jake™: Here, see if this helps.
Jake™: |23/10/2012|......|10/11/2012|......|5/2/2014|......|10/1/2015| <==
Scoop: Hm?
Jake™: That's the only way I can think to explain it.
Jake™: Today is 10/1/2015
Scoop: Yes.
Jake™: I am travelling backwards
Jake™: With stops in those times.
Scoop: Okay.
Jake™: So, yes. I would be able to answer your third question, if you remember to ask me in the past.
Scoop: Umm, I guess that make sense?
Jake™: Wait. 2015. Never mind.
Jake™: You can't do that yet.
Scoop: Umm..
Scoop: Im just going to ask it now.
Jake™: Okay.
Scoop: What happen's to everyone on here. You know Orange, Trogg, DMP, Genic....
Jake™: Oh, well...
Jake™: This time period is really the only time they are together like this.
Jake™: Before this stop, after doing inquiries into a psychotic and dangerously intelligent cult leader, we noticed a connection to the Steam computer program and the YouTube Global Enforcement of Standards and Practices in Societal Settings Agency.
Jake™: Err...
Jake™: YouTube
Jake™: The video service.
Jake™: So we decided to check out this current time frame
Jake™: And it had the highest concentration of all of these individuals in one place.
Jake™: I have to go. I have the students coming in 9 rehls.
Scoop: Rehls?
Scoop: But, wait you never Answerd my Question.....
Jake™: "Orange": Married, No kids
"Trogg": Accidental death
Jake™: "DMP": Suicide, age 32
Scoop: ♥♥♥♥......
Jake™: "Generic": Teacher, Lives Alone
Scoop: What about Lazer?
Jake™: You know Lazer, personally?
Scoop: No, not really.....
Jake™: Could you think of a motive for "Lazer" to hate people who use voice chat over the internet?
Scoop: No, I can't find one. He never hated people who use Voice Chat on the inteternet.....
Jake™: We'll just have to keep searching, then.
Jake™: Thank you for your "time". (A little time travelling humour)
Scoop: Heh....
Scoop: Well, Umm. Will I ever meet you again?
Jake™: Me? Possibly not. From your point of view, you could have talked to me before. I don't know yet.
Scoop: Umm, well do you have anything you could give me to remember you by?
Jake™ has accepted your request to trade.
Scoop: A TF2 Robo Crate?
Jake™: Yes. We have robots in the future. In fact, Valve will release a whole line of robots based upon their classic works.
Scoop: Ah....
Jake™: The GLADoS is my favorite from their classic games.
Jake™: Life imitates art.
Scoop: Wait, i have something for you!
Jake™ has accepted your request to trade.
Scoop: Ah, Take these...
Jake™: I hope that Jake will not mind that I traded his crate. I'm sure he won't even notice it missing.
Scoop: I don't think he plays TF2 anymore anyway.....
Scoop: There, somthing you can remeber me by....
Scoop: Remember* Sorry very late right now... Heheh.
Jake™: 0300 approximately.
Jake™: If I'm reading this thing correctly.
Scoop: Hmm.
Jake™: I've created something that I can drop in the timestream as I go through it.
Jake™: I've placed this, and variations of, into your timestream: LoL, WTF?: http://screenessay.com/IMG_02112014.png
Scoop: Why?
Scoop: You know what that does right?
Jake™: It will be a picture someday.
Scoop: Well, right now it hacks into your account.....
Jake™: Of my great, great grandmother.
Jake™: Yeah. A umm...what's it called....self shot portrait.
Scoop: Yes....
Jake™: Yes. A self shot portrait at the school she attended.
Jake™: You can visit the link in 19 years when she posts it.
Scoop: Heheh, I will...
Jake™: The sound has started. Have to start teaching these idiot kids about history.
Scoop: Heheh, Alright......
Scoop: Tell them I said Greetings from Past....
Jake™: I will do that. But I'd doubt they'd even know they had interglobal communications back then. Or back now.
Jake™: They don't download any of the homework.
Scoop: What do they do now? If you have the time to tell me.....
Jake™: I don't, sorry. I'll give you a brief summary. It's a VR device you download the work to and you're supposed to historically reenact the scenario.
Scoop: Hmm.....
Jake™: I'll see you in the textbooks.
Jake™: Class has begun.
Jake™: Oh, by the way. Jake will have this account once he awakens.
Scoop: Alright.
Scoop: Erm, Bye now Hheh.
Scoop: Good Luck with your Class and Such......
Jake™: Thank you.